31 January 2010

Stained Glass Masquerade

Till next time,
Ash the (Thinking) Dreamer

30 January 2010

my bucket list.

my mommy up and decided to make her bucket list today. i'm not quite sure why, but i find it interesting.

so i figured i would post my own bucket list.

seeing that i dream these crazy dreams, my bucket list is already inordinately LONG (haha), so i'll spare you the hour-long post by only posting some of my very favorites. :)

1. adopt two little girlies (from romania?).

2. become fluent in french.

3. publish a beautiful novel. (this is the very minimum... i desperately want to publish a million of my stories, not just one measly novel!)

4. be a missionary for at least a year in an orphanage (preferrably in europe).

5. visit prague.

6. find true love.

7. bake cookies for the wordfm (my favorite radio station) and visit with the staff.

8. pray with some of my favorite bands/artists (i'm so weird, i know!).

9. get involved in a youth group.

10. sponsor a little girlie from compassion international.

those are the big ones, right now, anyway. i'm sure there are a million other ones, that i'm crazy passionate about, but i can't think of them right now, and i don't want to put down stuff that don't matter immensely to me. :)

anyway, happy weekend, everyone! :)

till next time,
ash the (determined) dreamer

29 January 2010


hello, everybody!

happy weekend. :)

i'm sick today. i've actually been sick most of the week. i thought i was going to pass out earlier tonight, before supper. it was actually kind of bad. at one point, i thought i had strep throat, too. i guess you should know that i hate being sick. :)

tonight for our family worship, though, as i was trying to ignore the stomach and head pains, and the way my ears throb and how my throat feels like wallpaper... we were watching this amazing preacher whose name is walter pearson.

that man makes me love african american preachers! hehe. :)

anyway, i started seeing the message a little after it was started, so i missed what Bible story he was tying his message into. but he was talking about how needy guys and girls can be when it comes to finding their "perfect soulmate". haha. it's true. the lengths people go for love and for actually finding it, and rejecting it when they thought they had it when they really didn't... it's crazy. i guess that's a perk to never going on a date. i've watched tons of people do crazy, stupid, demeaning things all for the acceptance they seek for in "love". i hope that means i'll know better when it's my turn, but i'm pretty sure i won't have it all figured out, lol.

anyway, he was talking about how nobody wants to date a needy person, and how you need to find Jesus before you can even try to invest in a relationship, and i was soooo glad i got to listen to his message.

and then he said this line that really hit me. he said something about how the most beautiful aspect of a girl's character that draws a guy to her more than anything else was if she has joy enough to spill over into his life.

i was so struck by that.

besides living out my dreams, one of the biggest values i have is joy, and i have always dreamed of living out my life with abundant joy.

this isn't because i actually want a perfect guy--i really do, but it seems moronically, idiotically DUMB to try to find joy just to find a guy. haha. i don't want to do that.

but it reminded me of how much i really want joy in my life, how much i want joy to overflow from my heart, and how i want to bring joy to everyone. when i talk about Jesus, when i talk about changing the world, when i hope, when i plan my Jesus' revolution, this is what i want--to spread joy. if it means i get a perfect guy with a perfect name and a perfect heart, i would be oh-so-extremely-happy. but that's not why i want this.

i want to be joyful for you, dear friends that read my blog. i want to be joyful for buddy and becca and lea, my amazing three siblings. i want to be joyful for my mommy and daddy, who work so very hard for my joy. i want to be joyful for my coworkers, who don't even know what joy is. i want to be joyful for my friends on parentsconnect, who sometimes forget what joy is. i want to be joyful so my fellow students at kutztown university, my depressing school, can see Jesus inside of me. i want to be joyful so that my future husband will be joyful with me, all the time. i want to be joyful so that my future children will live a life of joy. i want to be joyful so my aging grandmothers have hope for the future of this world. i want to be joyful so that everyone i will contact in the future will find hope in a Christian, so that they will know life, so that they can share my joy. i want to be joyful so that my church members can be joyful with me and turn the world upside down with me. i want to be joyful so that cynics can have hope, so that hopeful people keep their hope, so that orphans stay strong, so that the military has faith in the cause they fight for, so that single moms stay strong, so everyone knows love and hope and the Way. but most of all, i want to be joyful so that Jesus can be proud of me, so that i know i have His Way in my heart, and that i can do all that He has called me to do.

I've always loved this passage of the Bible, probably because I value joy so much...

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4, NASB)

anyway, so since i know people actually read my blog now (haha), if you read this and you read a blog when i am not joyful, can you please remind me of this promise? between me, and you, and God, and all the people. i want to be joyful. and i want you to share in my joy. :)

and to increase our joy, here's a little something to brighten your day (at least, i hope it does!):

till next time,
ash the (hopeful) dreamer

25 January 2010

My Musical Blog... :)

Hehe, one of my best cyber-friends, Amelie, recently posted a musical blog, about all her favorite songs. I laughed, I listened, and I was inspired.

So here is my musical blog. :)

You may not love music like I do, but I hope you'll find my tour of the soundtrack of my life somewhat amusing, at least. :)

1. "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard.

Don't ask me why I put this one first. Hehe. But this was a song Amelie was considering for her wedding song, and I COMPLETELY fell in love with it! I usually don't listen to music that isn't Christian and isn't from Glee or Disney channel (lol), but I really, really love this sweet love song. :)

2. "The Lost Get Found" by Britt Nicole

I know I already posted this song on here, but I stinkin' LOVE it, and it's my song of the year, so get used to it. Haha. :) I stinkin' love this so much. It's so happy and talks about so much that I value. :)

3. "Sunshine/Halo" by Glee

Gah, I LOVE the show Glee! :) hehe. I'm such a Gleek. :) And this song is sooooo amazing. At least, I think so! :)

4. "Safe" by Phil Wickham

If it's possible to fall in love with someone's voice, I think I've fallen in love with Phil Wickham's. Hehe. It's just so magical and amazing! :) And I love the words, too. :) So hopeful and healing. :)

5. "Dear God" by FM Static

LOVELOVELOVE! Hehe. :) It's just such a real way to approach God--no lies, no disrespect, just longing for truth and life. This is how I want my relationship with God to be--but sometimes, it just doesn't end up this way. :*(

6. "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real

Sanctus Real is my very favorite band, so OF COURSE I had to put one of their songs in here! This is currently my favorite. It's so healing.

7. "What Do I Know of Holy?" by Addison Road

LOVELOVELOVE this one, too! :) Addison Road is sometimes tied for my favorite band with Sanctus Real, and sometimes it's my second favorite. But I LOVE their lyrics, and I love the music, and Jenny Simmons is positively hilarious. :) (BTW, you should check out her blog at www.jennysimmons.com...). Besides, this song makes you THINK! :)

8. "Next Thing Ya Know" by Matthew West

I just love Matthew West to pieces, too! :) Hehe. I love this song, too. Sometimes I wish how powerful the moment is when people choose Jesus. :)

9. "Speaking Louder than Before" by Jeremy Camp

Gah, I LOVE this song, too! :) It just makes me sick that people have the ability to help the world and change it for the better, but they choose not to. I love that this song talks so much about actually DOING something to help. :)

10. "Last Night" by Kristin Chenoweth and the Glee cast...

Hehe, another Glee song. I love this song, for some reason. Not sure why, but I do. :)

Hehe, anyway, it was probably ridiculous, and I just wasted about 75% of my studying time, but it was fun, anyway. :)

Till next time,
Ash the (Amused) Dreamer :)

22 January 2010

for my dreams...

I don't have much to say tonight--not right now, anyway--but I have been listening to Britt Nicole's latest CD a lot this year.

I think it's my self-proclaimed CD (and she's my self-proclaimed artist) of the year. It's oh-so-VERY-good. :)

Anyway, I was listening to this song with Lea a few minutes ago, and it just hit me--like this is the message for me this year, for this month, this week and this day, and this very hour. :) It's such a beautiful song, and gah, it makes me actually feel like my dreams might come true, someday.

Happy weekend, everybody! And Happy Sabbath! :)

Till next time,
Ash the (Reassured) Dreamer

21 January 2010

Ashley the Magnificent's Third Adventure!

Hello, World! :)

I desperately need to go read Beowulf for my English (British) lit class, but I'm dreading it. Beowolf is SUCH a weird story! That, and I have some French, math, and possibly writing (for my creative writing class), too! Do you know how much it STINKS to have almost ALL of your classes in college on three days, instead of evenly spread out? I hate having four classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but only having one class on Tuesday and Thursday. I am dreading this. :*(

Hehe, but that's not why I logged on today... Ashley the Magnificent had an experience to remember today, but she's about to split personalities and become Ashley the Bewildered. lol.

So today I only had one class--it's called "Contemporary Issues", and it's beyond boring. :*( But that's not the point.

Anywhooooo... so now my little brother and I both go to the same college, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we have the exact same schedule--one class, from 8 to 9:20 am, even in the same building! We're not in the same class, though. :) Anyway, so I went to class, dealt with the boring-ness.

Then after we finished, we went over to this little bookstore that has books for Kutztown students to buy/rent for their classes. We both needed to get some books that weren't there when we bought them earlier. Anyway, so we bought the books, I lost $25 (*tear*), and we went home.

I was hanging out, avoiding homework (not the best idea, mind you...). Then my brother came into my room and told me that the Kutztown POLICE called our house, because somebody had turned in my WALLET! I was so confused--I was like, I HAVE my wallet! :/

But then I looked, and I really didn't. I was so confused, because I didn't have a CLUE how I lost it. Maybe I accidentally left it on the counter or something?

But after talking to the police for about five minutes, and they confirmed that the contents inside were in fact mine, I was just about to arrange to go down there and pick them up, when, across the telephone lines, you would never guess what I heard.

My dad.

So weird. He sometimes works at my school, but I didn't know he was in the area. Anyway, the policeman asked me if I knew were "the com" was or something like that (btw, I don't even KNOW what that is! lol). And I was like, "Uh, no, actually..."

And then my dad was trying to give him instructions to give me to get there! Hehe. It was really funny.

Then the cop was just like, "Um, your dad says he's here... can you tell me his name?"

I was like, "Uhhh..." But I told him. And then he was like, "Okay, well, I'm giving it to him, if that's okay with you..."

I was like, "haha... fine."

And then he hung up.

So strange. :)

And now I have to get to Beowulf.

Happy day, world! :)

Till next time,
Ash the (Amused) Dreamer

14 January 2010



please pray for haiti.

and if you can afford to, please give.

it makes me sick that things like this happen. :*(

these are the reasons why i want to be a missionary.


happy day, everyone.

ash the (weary) dreamer

happily ever afters...

hello, dear friends.

have you ever dreamt about your wedding?

i have.

and i have never been on a date before.

how pathetic is that?!

but my friend amelie is getting married in march. amelie lives in france and has the most magical fairy-tale sort of life. she even works at disneyland. i'm not kidding. she's like a disney princess! lol. and i'm so happy that she and jacob are getting married. and that she's going to get her happily-ever-after.

but sometimes i wonder if i'll ever get mine.

what sort of a hope for a magical love story is there for a nearly 22-year-old girl who has never been on a date?

but i dream anyway.

about the bridesmaids dressed in the most beautiful pastel purple. about the violets twinkling around the church like Christmas lights. about my sisters standing next to me. about all my loved ones coming to see this magical moment. about laney and kylee going before me, throwing beautiful flower petals in front of where i will walk. about how gorgeous my future husband will be, how happy he will be. about what it will be like to look into his eyes when he takes my hands. and especially about what that magical kiss in front of dozens of people will be like.

right now, his name is noah edward.

is it okay if i give him a false, made-up name?

and then we will go to europe for a week or two, and after we get back, life will be perfect, and very soon afterward, we will become missionaries to europe and adopt beautiful children (that he of course lets me name very beautiful names). and maybe someday, when we come back to america, he will have a good job, and i'll be able to stay home with our children and write beautiful stories that will change the world.

sometimes i love being single. sometimes i love that independence and the chance to do anything for the world.

but sometimes i hate being single.

sometimes i want that kind of love.

but then i remind my self that Jesus knows all of this, and that one day, life will be perfect.

and you beautiful ladies, i hope you find your happily ever afters.

even if i never do.

till next time,
ash the (wistful) dreamer

12 January 2010

John 1


I'm kinda busy and tired, but everytime I read something so revolutionary that it blows my mind from Scripture, I just HAVE to share it! So here I am.

Please, please go read John 1. Here's the link, even! :]

Goodness, as I read it, it was like truth over truth... sweet holiness over mercy, sweaping my heart to be so overwhelmed that I don't even know what words to say.

There was one verse that says, "For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace."


Life has felt like that lately. Tonight, anyway. Grace upon grace.

That's what I pray for you today, friend. :]

Till next time,
Ash the (Graced) Dreamer

08 January 2010

Hello, Love. &hearts

Hello. :]

I feel like I'm in a very musical mood today. I always love music, but I've been practicing piano A LOT lately (well, the past 48 hours...), because I have been invited to be one of the pianists for the little kid division of my church's Sabbath School class. And tomorrow's my big premiere! :) I'm pretty excited, because the songs are so cute and fun, and I adore those little kids in that class! I know at least three little girls there, and two little boys, and I just can't wait to meet all the others. I LOVE toddlers so much. :]

Anyway, so since I'm in such a musical mood, I figured I would share my self-proclaimed "Song of 2010". :] It's by Britt Nicole, and it's called "The Lost Get Found. I love it so much, and the moment this year started, I knew it would be the theme of my life. :) So I hope you like it.

That's the main exciting thing happening to me.

It feels like my life is starting to come together--I feel like I know what I want to study in school; I'm trying to find a new job and leave the plagues of last year behind (depression and OCD); I know I REALLY want to be a missionary after I graduate... I just feel like I can see God's plan, and I am really excited about that.

Other than that... I've been kinda sick today. :*( I think I might have ate something bad... :*(

Haha, I think this is it this time... no deep thoughts. Just happy Ashley saying hello.

So hello.

Happy day, friend.

Till next time,
Ash the (Musical) Dreamer

07 January 2010

Ashley the Magnificent Returns!!!!

haha... not really.

but you SHOULD read my "ashley the magnificent" blog if you haven't yet. because i think it's HILARIOUS! :]

but i did just have an adventure, and "ashley the magnificent" always pops up when an adventure takes place. :)

on monday morning, my brother and i took off on an adventure across several states to southwestern michigan. :]

see, my brother went to college in that area last semester, while i was at college here. he decided over Christmas break that he wasn't going to return (i KNOW! so last minute! lol), so we had to go get his stuff. my mom wanted someone to go with him, but monday was my mom's birthday, my sister and father had a dentist's appointment in philly, and my grandmother couldn't go that far. so alas, i was chosen. :] besides, i love roadtrips, so i volunteered!

we braved the winter weather conditions and had to stomp through two feet of snow when we finally got there, and i have survived pretty much STRICTLY on fast food cuisine for the past 3 days, but i'm finally home to tell you all about it! lol.

i lovelovelove roadtrips. so much. apparently adults don't understand why i would rather spend three days in a cramped-up car, driving to south dakota or wherever i go, rather than taking a few short hours to FLY there. i say they lack adventure. and they still need to learn about the joy in the journey.

my favorite part of roadtrips is the journey. not leaving home, or getting to my destination, or whatever i do when i'm there, but the long drive to where i'm going. i love it so much. i love the scenery, the bonding time with my travel companions, what i get to do while we're riding along, the way music and the journey come together to warm my heart and my soul, and mostly how i can commune with Jesus while i am journeying. for some reason, i always grow closer to God during trips. i guess it's because somehow, when i'm driving i see it best, as i see the fellow travelers driving, and it just hits me why Jesus loves these people He has created.

because they're beautiful. and they live and love and breath and hope and search for truth and they NEED a Lover.

and i just love seeing why Jesus loves us. it's not really explicable, and i really can't understand the heart of God, but i can see a little bit.

and that's enough for me, right now. :)

i love this song, because it just feels like how i feel every roadtrip. :)

i wish the greatest things for this world of mine, that i live and breathe in, but i have to be content, hoping that one day, we all will win where it counts.

till next time,
ash the (joyful) dreamer