the concert...

okay... so finally... here's the concert story i promised... :)

so i after i posted the blog about how i was so excited about going to the concert, i woke up my dad (he was napping! i couldn't believe it...), and i borrowed $20 from my sister so i could buy a sanctus real shirt. :) she was so gracious. i love my little sisters. anyways... we went out to the car and my dad drove for FOREVER!!!!!!!!! it didn't seem like we would ever get there! and my dad went there a different way from the directions i got from mapquest, so i was kinda freaking out, but then it was okay, cuz we got there, and i remembered this church we had gone to for this other event, so i was okay.

we ate at burger king before going to the meet-and-greet, and it was pretty much not even worth it, cuz i was basically bouncing off the walls... i was SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited, but also really nervous about meeting the band. my dad just laughed at me.

anyway, then we finished and went to the church. it was huge!!!!! the parking lot was almost 10 times the size of our church's parking lot, and i always thought we had a pretty big parking lot. the church was huge, too. we went inside, and as soon as we did, this man was yelling out that if people had orange tickets to go on through, so i was like, "woohoo!" but i was also really nervous because i knew it was for the meet-and-greet. i didn't know what to expect, but i didn't want to sound like a raving idiot, i knew that for sure. it turned out that there were so many people at the meet and greet that they just had sanctus real answer a few questions and sign some autographs before going back to get ready for the show. i was going to ask them a question, but i was too nervous, and other people asked questions, so i don't feel too bad about that.

then it was time for the show, and the first band, vota, came out. they were okay; i don't really like most of their music, but i always liked two of their songs--they only played one that i like. then there was a little break, and tenth avenue north came out. they are pretty cool... i love their music, but it just seemed like they played their music and got off stage; i didn't really feel that much of a connection, but maybe that's because i wasn't up at the stage. but i got a few cool videos of them.

then sammy a., the speaker, came out. he was pretty powerful. he talked to you one-on-one almost, but it was powerful, like one of those powerhouse preachers. he talked about how all of us in the room were brought there for a specific purpose, and God knew what that was, and he talked about how we were all a part of the top 1% of the world, because we had change in our pockets, and we weren't starving, and a bunch of other things. and then he talked about how one person could change the world, especially through mocha club, and i was like, "oh, yeah!!!!!!!!" i was so psyched to change the world again... i wanted to help out so bad, to be a part of something greater, to help, to make a change... i was so pumped.

then sanctus real came out... oh, boy!!!!! this was pretty much the best part, although sammy a. was pretty incredible, too. i went up in front of the stage for that, and i took my camera (which finally decided to cooperate and let me take pictures and video... my batteries are so retarded...) with me.

sanctus real is so awesome live. they just connected with the people so much... i always thought their music was awesome, and that they were pretty cool guys, but seeing them live... it was almost as if they were personally glad each and every one of us were there to share them rocking out, and they wanted to show us that. i was standing on the right side of the stage, facing the stage, so i was pretty close to the guitarist, chris rohman. i always wanted to meet matt (the lead singer) and mark (the drummer), and i kinda wanted to meet chris, but after watching chris live--he connected with the people so well. he kept giving away his picks, and i think he winked at me once, which is kinda cool. :)

and there was this one girl, she was just leaning against the stage, her head in her hands, looking a little depressed, and chris noticed her, and for a moment, he rested his chin on his hand like she was doing and smiled. she stood up self-consciously and smiled slightly. then he threw her his pick... i dunno how to explain it... they just really love people, it seems like. and matt kept giving people hi-fives as he sang, and he would take cameras/video cameras from the fans and give them these great videos of mark playing the drums and dan and pete and chris, and himself, too. i kinda wish i was closer to him, so maybe he woulda taken a video for me. oh, well. maybe next time. cuz there will be a next time. :)

after the concert, i went straight to the wordfm's booth, cuz my favorite radio station was there, and they are collecting money for this charity, cents for hope, that's helping orphans (i think) in honduras. so i had a sandwich bag, full of pennies ($3.47 worth)... it was heavy, btw... and i dropped it off. then i went and bought a tee-shirt at the sanctus real booth. i had gone online earlier to see which shirts they had, and i found one that had that song that changed my life and helped to start pulling me out of depression--it's called "whatever you're doing (something heavenly)"--so i bought that one. i waited in a long line to get sanctus real to sign it, but they did, and they also took a picture with me... yay!!!!!!!!! i also got to tell matt that i was so grateful for "whatever you're doing", because of how it pulled him out of depression, and a smile lit up his face, and he was so genuine, and he was like, "wow... thank you for telling me that... that means a lot!" and i was just like, :]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so there's the concert... maybe i'll try to upload videos and pictures later. i should get ready for work. :)

the frustrations of a dreamer...

6 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:6-11, NIV

i've just been really thinking about these verses--and their meaning--a lot lately. with signing up to be a part of mocha club, and just hearing about what has gone on over there, and then there are these ER episodes where carter and luka go over to africa to volunteer... some of that footage is just gut-wrenching, heart-searing, life-changing drama, and it has had my stomach churning for almost two hours to do something for those people, to show them the love of Jesus, to show them the face of love... i wish i could do more than $7 a month to change the world... i still feel so helpless... but still, what can i do? how can i help so many people when i am only one, and so much is already expected of me, with school and work and chores? that's not what is important--impacting lives for eternity is!!!!! but i feel so tied down!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

oh, to change the world...

lately, i have had this driving passion to change the world. it was a feeling i had almost every other day before i became depressed, and now, thanks to the AWESOME SANCTUS REAL CONCERT (thanks, guys!!! on the off chance that you ever read my blog... haha), i have had that compelling feeling almost multiple times in the days that have followed.

for one, i am completely stoked. i can't believe that this feeling is coming back... my number one dream has always been to change the world, relationships at a time, and for so many months, i haven't felt that passion. for two, i want to scream and pull my hair out (despite how painful i know that would be). at the sanctus real concert, this really cool preacher-dude (his name is sammy adebiyi) from africa (nigeria) who now lives in toledo, ohio, was talking about a tangible way that we can change the world. i would give almost anything to change the world, to be a part of something bigger with every move that i make.

i mean, between blogging for this blog, i did sign up for mocha club, which i am totally stoked about... and even though it seems like such a little thing, it is changing the world, if only by a little. (btw, if you wanna join my team, go to http://mochaclub.org/joinme/dreamer84 and sign up. it only costs 7 bucks per month, and it really makes a difference.)

well, i need to go to work tomorrow, so i should sign off for today... i just wish it was easier to make a difference... hmmm...

FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay... so dan gartley is 100% correct on this one... fall is officially here, the leaves are starting to turn, and i am PSYCHED!!!!!!!!!! woohoo!!!!!!! okay, i know i'm not the only who is completely in love with fall, but it's is like, the coolest part of the whole year--well, fall and all the way till spring semester starts. i mean... think about it... leaves turning colors, wearing hoodies and jeans, getting ready for Christmas, hot cocoa and hot apple cider, the newness of a new school year, THE COOLEST CONCERT OF ALL TIME (yeah, that's right... i'm talking about the Sanctus Real concert... more details to come in a later blog... :]...), buying Christmas presents, being with family... WOW, i'm excited!!!!!!!

hope y'all enjoy this fall as much as i'm planning on it... :)

later,
ash

sanctus real...

hey, everybody!!!!!!!!!!

sorry i haven't posted anything in a REALLY long time. yeah... i didn't even tell you about public school... wow... the thing is, i don't really write if i don't feel like it would be God speaking through me, so that's pretty much why i haven't said anything. that, and i hate public school too much. :)

but that's not why i'm blogging today... today... oh, yeah, i'm like SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) about today, cuz i'm going to this concert... never been to a Christian rock concert before, and this is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BAND IN THE WHOLE WORLD... i'm leaving in an hour or two, and we're driving about an hour to see Sanctus Real. i'm really excited, not just for the concert, cuz one of my other favorite bands, Tenth Avenue North, is gonna be there, and this pretty cool speaker, and this other band... AND!!!!!!!!!! and, i'm going to this meet-and-greet... i am so psyched. to hear Sanctus Real live, and to meet them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEP!!!!!!!!!!! :) i know... i'm terribly over dramatic.

i guess it's because i haven't been so excited about doing something for so long, and i've really wanted to meet this band for the longest time, and i've been waiting for this day for a REALLY long time. not only that... when i was depressed for the past year, something about Sanctus Real's music helped me remain committed to God in the midst of it all. i remember this one song... it totally destroyed my reserve and any fight i had left, and i was just completely empty, trying to figure out how what Matt Hammitt was singing could be true. i didn't get it.... the line went something like this: "Whatever You're doing inside of me / it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace / and its hard to surrender to what i can't see / but i'm giving in to something heavenly." i totally understood the feeling of chaos in my life--depression is UTTER CHAOS--but i really didn't feel ANY peace at all. i felt like calling this great spiritual counselor of mine a liar, cuz i really didn't understand it. but then as i sat there on my porch, just me and God and the voice of Matt Hammitt, i found healing. every time i didn't think i would make it.

and today i did. and i'm this close |------| to being healed from depression, and just to meet someone that instrumental in helping me pull out of depression, through the grace of God... i just really want to meet that person, and to thank them for what they did cuz of Jesus.

well, i should study a little more for my exam tomorrow before i leave. that, and get ready. :) i'll let you know how it went. i promise. and there'll probably be more on ucky public school, too. :)

till then,
ash