sanctus real...

hey, everybody!!!!!!!!!!

sorry i haven't posted anything in a REALLY long time. yeah... i didn't even tell you about public school... wow... the thing is, i don't really write if i don't feel like it would be God speaking through me, so that's pretty much why i haven't said anything. that, and i hate public school too much. :)

but that's not why i'm blogging today... today... oh, yeah, i'm like SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) about today, cuz i'm going to this concert... never been to a Christian rock concert before, and this is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BAND IN THE WHOLE WORLD... i'm leaving in an hour or two, and we're driving about an hour to see Sanctus Real. i'm really excited, not just for the concert, cuz one of my other favorite bands, Tenth Avenue North, is gonna be there, and this pretty cool speaker, and this other band... AND!!!!!!!!!! and, i'm going to this meet-and-greet... i am so psyched. to hear Sanctus Real live, and to meet them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEP!!!!!!!!!!! :) i know... i'm terribly over dramatic.

i guess it's because i haven't been so excited about doing something for so long, and i've really wanted to meet this band for the longest time, and i've been waiting for this day for a REALLY long time. not only that... when i was depressed for the past year, something about Sanctus Real's music helped me remain committed to God in the midst of it all. i remember this one song... it totally destroyed my reserve and any fight i had left, and i was just completely empty, trying to figure out how what Matt Hammitt was singing could be true. i didn't get it.... the line went something like this: "Whatever You're doing inside of me / it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace / and its hard to surrender to what i can't see / but i'm giving in to something heavenly." i totally understood the feeling of chaos in my life--depression is UTTER CHAOS--but i really didn't feel ANY peace at all. i felt like calling this great spiritual counselor of mine a liar, cuz i really didn't understand it. but then as i sat there on my porch, just me and God and the voice of Matt Hammitt, i found healing. every time i didn't think i would make it.

and today i did. and i'm this close |------| to being healed from depression, and just to meet someone that instrumental in helping me pull out of depression, through the grace of God... i just really want to meet that person, and to thank them for what they did cuz of Jesus.

well, i should study a little more for my exam tomorrow before i leave. that, and get ready. :) i'll let you know how it went. i promise. and there'll probably be more on ucky public school, too. :)

till then,
ash