the Lord has made Himself known...

mmmm....

i just ran across these words in Psalm 9, and i just had to write them down. people's opinions and popularity aside. Here are these words:

"For the needy will not always be forgotten; the Lord has made Himself known." that's basically the first line of verses 18 and 16 (in that order). mmmm... how powerful is that?

"For the needy will not always be forgotten." How much is that needed in today's society?

i remember this one quote from this Christian comedian/singer, who was talking about his favorite Bible verse (which says, "It has come to pass.") He talks about how cancer and aging and the horror on this earth have come to pass. "It has not come to STAY, it has come to PASS!" i remember he said. "you eighteen-year-old jocks with muscles in your earlobes! enjoy it! it has come to pass!"

mmmm... but in all seriousness, what are you supposed to say to a seven-year-old little girl who has been molested by her uncle? or the girl who thought she was in love, only to find that he had married her for her money, and took half of it--and all her heart--with him when he filed for divorce two days after the honeymoon ended? or the teenager dying of cancer? or the single mother raising three children on a waitressing job?

my pastor preached about this today, and how we're supposed to have grattitude, and how it didn't make sense to be grateful when so much is wrong in the world. and then he suggested that these trials come so we can praise God. and i believe with all of my heart that trials bring us closer to God if we let it, but i really don't believe that God is just looking for trials to put us through, just so he can see if we're good little lab rats and we've been conditioned properly!!!! and that's what it sounded like my pastor was saying today. and all i could think of was NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stop it! stop saying that! stop breaking their hearts! these single mothers, and grandmothers dying of cancer, and divorcees, and parents stretched so thin financially that they don't know where their meals are coming from for tomorrow... they don't need to hear that this has come to see if they are faithful! they don't need to hear that the God they claim to follow isn't right by their side, coaching them through this!

i believe that God tests us, lets us go through the fire draw us closer to Him, but the part my pastor failed to mention that God goes right through the fire with us, that Jesus has PRAYED for us, and that He holds onto us and holds us up as much as we let Him!

"For the needy will not always be forgotten..."

i love this chorus in this song by one of my favorite bands, tenth avenue north, which goes like this:

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

"The Lord has made Himself known."

mmmm... :)

i got "clocked"...

okay, so i finally have a blog-worthy story to tell, so i figured i should tell it before i forget all the crazy details... :)

anyways, so yesterday, i was at work, slaving away so i can go back to my dream college next semester, and it was about 2:15 in the afternoon or so, and i was looking for something to do (cuz it's usually DEAD in taco bell at 2:15 in the afternoon). so my boss calls out to me (you have to understand, this in itself is pretty hilarious. she's this Filipino pip-squeak who bosses everybody around and threatens to "karate-chop" you up in pieces if you do something too wrong. she's pretty hilarious), and she wants me to turn this timer that hangs from the ceiling so she can see it in the camera, so i try, but i'm, like, three feet below it, and i can barely touch it with the tips of my fingers... horrible. anyway, so i'm swatting at it, and its spinning around in circles (any person in their right mind would have noticed something was wrong here), and i kept spinning it the wrong way, apparently. and my boss keeps saying "no-no... other way. other way. i'm gonna karate-chop you..." and i've been swatting it both directions so, i'm like, "what is she talking about?!?!" and then, it came to a stop, so i was waiting for her to tell me which way to turn it, and my head was kinda down, and then, out of NOWHERE, it was like BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the clock fell! from the ceiling! on top of my head! and then to the ground!

i didn't even know what had happened... it felt like an eternity after it happened that it dawned on me that the clock had hit me on the head, and all i could do was hold my throbbing head and will myself to breathe so i didn't pass out in front of all my coworkers and all the taco bell customers (cuz i have a REALLY low tolerance for pain...). after that... well, after that, it was a blur. i sat down in the dining room for a little bit, and then i took of my hat, and found blood soaking into my hat, and i was like, "ho, boy..." after that.... well, i just sat a lot and put ice on it, and my boss cleaned it up, and ho, boy, did it hurt! it still hurts so bad. yesterday, my dad made some joke about how i literally got "clocked", and they haven't stopped yet... at least i got out of work early. :)

i just praise Jesus that i didn't get hurt worse than i did, and that i didn't get any serious brain injuries. Jesus is so good. :)

on a mission...

lately, i have felt this deep calling, and even if you don't care, or you don't know what i am talking about, or you think this is stupid, i know this is a calling of God, it is my dream, and someday, it WILL come true. and i just have to say it somewhere, somehow, how incredibly BUILT FOR ME this mission is.

last fall (september to be exact), i went to my first Christian rock concert. it was amazing!!!!! :))))) anyway, it was to see my favorite band, which you probably know by now if you read any of my other blogs. :) anyway, so i went and i enjoyed myself so much. but, the thing is, while i was there, there was this really cool speaker. his name was sammy adiyibei (not sure of the spelling). so he spoke just before sanctus real came out, and i've been thinking a lot about that lately. about what it would be like, traveling with a Christian band, listening to them sing and talk about Jesus every night, and watching these kids be impacted by Christian ministry, and then, having the honor of being a part of that, to impact kids lives and to have the incredible honor to speak to a generation every night, and pour out Jesus' love for them... it's just something i feel like God has called me to do, and i can't wait to be a part of that. i just don't know how to get there. maybe soon. God, show me how!!!

the thing is... the first year i went to college, i went in as a theology student, because, for one, i LOVE youth, and i love ministry. even though i don't have much experience speaking publicly, i love the experiences i've had, and i LOVE connecting with people one-on-one. secondly, i LOVE Christian music. LOVE IT! like, you don't even know. my family thinks i'm crazy, cuz i can't stop playing it. and for like, the past half a year, i've been dying to meet sanctus real (even though that probably has nothing to do with it).

i don't know how to explain it... it's like... you know who you are sometimes, and you know God has this incredible plan for you, and then He shows it to you, if only just a little bit, and you're like, WELL, DUH!!!! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? and that's kinda how i feel... except for one addition... "when can i start?"

*sigh* i hate it that it takes me so long to be prepared by God to do the things He has called me to do. well... until later... keep chasing Jesus. :)