14 January 2010

happily ever afters...

hello, dear friends.

have you ever dreamt about your wedding?

i have.

and i have never been on a date before.

how pathetic is that?!

but my friend amelie is getting married in march. amelie lives in france and has the most magical fairy-tale sort of life. she even works at disneyland. i'm not kidding. she's like a disney princess! lol. and i'm so happy that she and jacob are getting married. and that she's going to get her happily-ever-after.

but sometimes i wonder if i'll ever get mine.

what sort of a hope for a magical love story is there for a nearly 22-year-old girl who has never been on a date?

but i dream anyway.

about the bridesmaids dressed in the most beautiful pastel purple. about the violets twinkling around the church like Christmas lights. about my sisters standing next to me. about all my loved ones coming to see this magical moment. about laney and kylee going before me, throwing beautiful flower petals in front of where i will walk. about how gorgeous my future husband will be, how happy he will be. about what it will be like to look into his eyes when he takes my hands. and especially about what that magical kiss in front of dozens of people will be like.

right now, his name is noah edward.

is it okay if i give him a false, made-up name?

and then we will go to europe for a week or two, and after we get back, life will be perfect, and very soon afterward, we will become missionaries to europe and adopt beautiful children (that he of course lets me name very beautiful names). and maybe someday, when we come back to america, he will have a good job, and i'll be able to stay home with our children and write beautiful stories that will change the world.

sometimes i love being single. sometimes i love that independence and the chance to do anything for the world.

but sometimes i hate being single.

sometimes i want that kind of love.

but then i remind my self that Jesus knows all of this, and that one day, life will be perfect.

and you beautiful ladies, i hope you find your happily ever afters.

even if i never do.

till next time,
ash the (wistful) dreamer

1 comment:

Amélie said...

you are so sweet to me :)
and your day will come sweetie. you are still so young! everyone has a different kind of love story, yours is just a little different than mine. the best things come to those who wait!
some guy would be very lucky to have a sweet, funny, and pretty girl like you!