29 January 2010


hello, everybody!

happy weekend. :)

i'm sick today. i've actually been sick most of the week. i thought i was going to pass out earlier tonight, before supper. it was actually kind of bad. at one point, i thought i had strep throat, too. i guess you should know that i hate being sick. :)

tonight for our family worship, though, as i was trying to ignore the stomach and head pains, and the way my ears throb and how my throat feels like wallpaper... we were watching this amazing preacher whose name is walter pearson.

that man makes me love african american preachers! hehe. :)

anyway, i started seeing the message a little after it was started, so i missed what Bible story he was tying his message into. but he was talking about how needy guys and girls can be when it comes to finding their "perfect soulmate". haha. it's true. the lengths people go for love and for actually finding it, and rejecting it when they thought they had it when they really didn't... it's crazy. i guess that's a perk to never going on a date. i've watched tons of people do crazy, stupid, demeaning things all for the acceptance they seek for in "love". i hope that means i'll know better when it's my turn, but i'm pretty sure i won't have it all figured out, lol.

anyway, he was talking about how nobody wants to date a needy person, and how you need to find Jesus before you can even try to invest in a relationship, and i was soooo glad i got to listen to his message.

and then he said this line that really hit me. he said something about how the most beautiful aspect of a girl's character that draws a guy to her more than anything else was if she has joy enough to spill over into his life.

i was so struck by that.

besides living out my dreams, one of the biggest values i have is joy, and i have always dreamed of living out my life with abundant joy.

this isn't because i actually want a perfect guy--i really do, but it seems moronically, idiotically DUMB to try to find joy just to find a guy. haha. i don't want to do that.

but it reminded me of how much i really want joy in my life, how much i want joy to overflow from my heart, and how i want to bring joy to everyone. when i talk about Jesus, when i talk about changing the world, when i hope, when i plan my Jesus' revolution, this is what i want--to spread joy. if it means i get a perfect guy with a perfect name and a perfect heart, i would be oh-so-extremely-happy. but that's not why i want this.

i want to be joyful for you, dear friends that read my blog. i want to be joyful for buddy and becca and lea, my amazing three siblings. i want to be joyful for my mommy and daddy, who work so very hard for my joy. i want to be joyful for my coworkers, who don't even know what joy is. i want to be joyful for my friends on parentsconnect, who sometimes forget what joy is. i want to be joyful so my fellow students at kutztown university, my depressing school, can see Jesus inside of me. i want to be joyful so that my future husband will be joyful with me, all the time. i want to be joyful so that my future children will live a life of joy. i want to be joyful so my aging grandmothers have hope for the future of this world. i want to be joyful so that everyone i will contact in the future will find hope in a Christian, so that they will know life, so that they can share my joy. i want to be joyful so that my church members can be joyful with me and turn the world upside down with me. i want to be joyful so that cynics can have hope, so that hopeful people keep their hope, so that orphans stay strong, so that the military has faith in the cause they fight for, so that single moms stay strong, so everyone knows love and hope and the Way. but most of all, i want to be joyful so that Jesus can be proud of me, so that i know i have His Way in my heart, and that i can do all that He has called me to do.

I've always loved this passage of the Bible, probably because I value joy so much...

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4, NASB)

anyway, so since i know people actually read my blog now (haha), if you read this and you read a blog when i am not joyful, can you please remind me of this promise? between me, and you, and God, and all the people. i want to be joyful. and i want you to share in my joy. :)

and to increase our joy, here's a little something to brighten your day (at least, i hope it does!):

till next time,
ash the (hopeful) dreamer

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