13 November 2009

sweet irene and other stuff...

hello, friend (or friends, perhaps?)! :) here we are again, and it's another lovely friday night!!!! :) gah, i LOVE friday nights!!!! :)

anyway, new week, new song, so since i can't live without Christian music, and i can't imagine anyone who could live without it, i will post the lovely song for you! :) (btw, that last sentence was DRIPPING with sarcasm... hope you picked up on that... *grin*)

this is casting crowns, with their new single, until the whole world hears. :)

but i digress. :)

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm soooooooooo excited!!!!!! for the past couple weeks now, i've REALLY wanted to sponsor a child through compassion international (currently my favorite ministry in the whole world). if you don't know what compassion does, go to www.compassion.com and check it out. if you can walk away from those HUNDREDS of innocent, loveable faces, unscathed, then... well, i don't know what i would do, because i don't know if my sarcastic side would congratulate you for being so callous, or if i would ignore you and go and cry that such innocent, lovely children don't even have a chance at true life anymore. :/

anyway, so i've been planning, and PLANNING to sponsor a little girl from the hundreds of children that need sponsoring (i think there's almost 900 girls alone, from age 3 to 18, that need to be sponsored... that doesn't even include the boys!). the first night i checked it out, it was this precious little girl from honduras whose name is carolina. she was so perfect. and adorable. and my heart was perfectly attached to hers. but alas, i had about $25 to my name. gah. i hate college right now. so i had to transfer my money from my paychecks to my checking account, but i kept pushing it off because i'm so busy. well, somebody adopted that adorable little girl and left my heart crushed. :/ and then i found a three-year-old little girl named yestin who was so incredibly sweet. i was sure she was the one. the same night i found her, someone else adopted her, too! :/ and then, i found irene. she was a little four-year-old from el salvador, and she'd remained unsponsored for over half a year, and i grew to love her SO much, and i just knew she was to be mine! well, this week somebody up and sponsored her, too. i was crushed. i already felt like irene was my little girl, almost like a daughter to me, and now she's someone else's. :*( and i was so sure she would be mine, because there were several times when she was sponsored, and then, there she was, back again, and i was just so sure. :/ but now, every time i look at all those faces, my heart breaks, but now i can't find one i KNOW i'm supposed to sponsor, because irene's not there. :*( maybe by monday (when my money should be in my account) i'll find the perfect girl. who knows. pray that i know which precious gem to sponsor!

other than that, i've just been stepping back from my life and making some changes. it feels good. i think Jesus wanted this for me for a while, and now i'm finally listening. stupid, stupid me! :)

anyway, that's me. :)

maybe when i find the perfect little girl, i'll post a picture for you all to see! :)

anyway, happy weekend, everybody! :)

until next time,
ash the (crushed and ecstatic at the same time!!!!) dreamer

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