02 April 2010

To Jesus, with Love...

Do you know what I love most about Easter?


I love it that my favorite part of Easter is so simple. Jesus is so simple. :)

I have felt like a royal mess for a bit today. I still feel a bit like I'm a royal mess.

But thinking about Jesus, and how He died, even knowing that I would have days like this--days when my anger makes me an animal, days when my sins make me feel disgraceful, days when I feel like a moron, an idiot, and an imbecile. On days when my sins feel like mountains and I'm living in the valley... Jesus died for me, even then.

Over 2000 years ago, Jesus knew I would have this day... this day when I blow up at friends and ignore His friendship when it matters. And at the end of the day, Jesus knew I would need His hug, and Jesus knew I would need someone to wipe away my tears.

And somewhere inside of me, I believe wholeheartedly that even though Jesus didn't die just for me, Jesus did die so that He could be resurrected, so He COULD give me the hug I desperately need, and He WOULD be around to dry my tears.

Jesus died for this mess that I am.

And that's what matters. Jesus didn't die for me for just the good days--Jesus died for me so I could flourish in the bad days, too.

And that's what makes all the difference in the world.

I can't even imagine Jesus being in a grave on a Friday night like this, not being with me, resting so completely, His fight over, the victory won. I can barely even conceive it. Sometimes, I wish I could have been there, knowing what happens, just to see the faces of the disciples and Mary and all the others when they saw Jesus resurrected. Because those three days saved the world, and to be there would have been glorious.

Right now, though, I'm just so grateful to be on the receiving end of grace that I don't really hope for much else. :)

Happy Easter, everybody! :)

Till next time,
Ash the (Graced) Dreamer

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