I dunno if anybody saw my "unforgettable" blog a couple months (weeks?) ago, but I was talking about how my grandmother who has been really sick lately--how I could NEVER forget her, never leave her behind.
Well, yesterday, she passed away. 2:40, Thursday, November 4, 2010. She was almost 80 years old. I'm so glad God gave us that much.
I miss her already... I'm not going to lie. When I came downstairs this morning, her hospital bed was already gone... The living room, where she had been staying, was so empty. So much of our lives will change now. Much of everything revolved around caring for her for the past 3 or so months. And now she's gone. No more getting her drinks, finding her medicines, letting the nurses into the house, no more making her BLT sandwiches and seeing her quiet smile, no more rushing out the door in the morning, shouting, "Love you!" to my parents or sister, and having her always mistakenly thinking I was talking to her... and then I would always have to say it to her. I didn't say it to her because I didn't want to disturb her rest... but she was always awake, always listening for those words, searching for that hug, that kiss, that visit... She had overcome so much, only to rely on us for everything in the end. It was really sad.
But I'm glad.
She was in so much pain. Her cancer was robbing her of life. The nurses couldn't even bathe her without the pain flashing across her face. It was like life was clinging to her, instead of her clinging to life. It was so sad, seeing her hold on, just to face more pain each day. And now... now all her pain is over.
And I'm glad for that mercy.
Till next time,
Ash the (Unsure) Dreamer