12 February 2010
You know, for the longest time, my "dream blog" was to write this blog with this list of what love is. Like, "love is watching dora the explorer with your niece when she's sick and can't sleep... love is washing the dishes when your momma is to weary to... love is leaving your sister alone when she threatens to rip your head off..." haha.
I thought of trying to actually write that blog tonight, but it always comes out wrong. I don't know why.
That, and all I can think of is this one thought:
Love is loving an orphan enough to give them a home and a mommy.
I don't know how passionate you are about orphans, but besides fulfilling Jesus' will for my life and being a missionary for at least a while, adopting orphans is pretty much the highest thing on my list of things that need to be done. :)
And I dunno--lately, I have just fallen in love with orphans everywhere more than ever before. (Is it totally weird to fall in love with children I've never met before?!!) I just googled "European orphans" (because I would love to adopt from either Europe or domestically here in America), and my heart completely melted.
I mean, I just don't understand it. Half the time it makes me sick; the other half it makes me want to weep or be filled with anger. I don't understand how so many MILLIONS of children can be without a mommy and a daddy. I don't understand why people do not want to be the mommy and daddy for these children. I don't understand why the price of adoption is so high. I don't understand why everyone I talk to about adoption tries to keep me from adopting when I am actually old enough and mature enough to handle it. I don't understand why parents CHOOSE to NOT choose their children. They're so beautiful and lovely--WHY do they do that? I don't understand it.
I can't wait until the moment when I get to start the process of adopting my own future children... I don't know where they are, and I don't know how old they are, and I don't know what nation they call home right now, and I don't know the color of their hair or their eyes or if their smile is crooked or if their teeth are perfectly straight or if they love stories like I do or science like my mommy does... I know only one thing about them: that I love them dearly, and that I can't wait to meet them.
So tonight, there are a LOT of things about love that I DON'T know.
But tonight, this is what I know about love. Love is a choice. Love is beautiful. Love is looking into the expectant and lonely eyes of an orphan and crying tears of joy. Love is choosing to leave depression and OCD in the dust for the hope and joy and future of my children. Love is dreaming. Love is beating the odds.
And love is triumph.
One day, I will have my adopted children, and I will tell you ALL about my beautiful children and how they became my children, and I can promise you that they will all be named utterly GORGEOUS names (hehe!), and they will be loved so incredibly much.
Till next time,
Ash the (Inspired) Dreamer