Oooh, just gotta get one more story in here! :)
Sometime this week, I had this weird dream that I met Sanctus Real at some playground somewhere in the country (probably somewhere in my state, but I dunno), and from there they came to my house and helped me paint my little brother's bedroom that's already been painted. lol. VERY strange.
So when I woke up, I logged into Twitter, and this is what I wrote:
"woke up about an hour ago. :))) had this awesome dream that i got to meet sanctus real! now, if only it would come true... :))))))))"
Then, later that day, Sanctus Real responded to meeeeeeeee!!!! :) This is what they said:
"@ashthedreamer Come to a show and say Hi...dream come true"
:)
BTW, "ashthedreamer" is me. :) Hard to figure out, I know. lol.
Just wanted to share that... :)
Ash the (ecstatic) Dreamer!
20 June 2009
my favoritest little girls... :)
Delaney. That's my favoritest little girl's name. :) She's so adorable. She melts my heart every time I see her... I love her little sister--Kylie--too... Laney and Kylie. I hope their parents don't mind that I love them almost as much as they do. :)
So I actually have a story today... well, I'm going to try to form it into a story, anyway. :)
I was at camp meeting today--it's like this huge gathering of the Christians in my denomination for a week and a half, and we camp out, hear great preaching, have picnics, and enjoy the time off from the world to kick back with each other and God.
This year, I wasn't anticipating it as much as other years, because this was the first camp meeting since I'd met Laney and Kylie, and I didn't think they'd be there. Surprise! They were there today. :) Kylie, who's about two and a half, now, I think, surprised me in the bathroom, and I hung out with her while the lady taking care of her went toily--:). We spun around in circles and I threw her in the air, getting that precious smile out of her. :) She had to leave again, though, so I was really looking forward to seeing Laney a little later, after church was over.
I wasn't disappointed. When I went to the back of the gymnasium (it's held on a school campus) to get a bulletin, Laney spotted me, and the pure look of glee on her face overwhelmed me. :) I couldn't help smiling. "Hi, Laney!" I whispered and waved, and kept going. I knew I would talk to her later. :)
After church, I got to take her to her car--which I do a lot. :) When she saw me, she ran to me and I lifted her into my arms--I'm finding that little girls in my arms is one of the most precious cargoes I could carry ever. :) We talked as we jostled through the crowd, and she was holding my umbrella when we got outside... The way she looked at me with such an innocent face, her face all lit up in the joy of the moment, and proclaimed, "It's not rainin'!" :)))) My heart is taken. lol. :)
But I was just thinking... Laney and Kylie love people so easily... so it's easy for them to love my sisters and me. And Jesus loves us all first... and He calls us to come to Him as little children--why aren't we as eager to come to Jesus as Laney and Kylie are eager to come to my sisters Leah, Becca, and me? I don't know the answer to that--we all have our different answers.
But lately I've been working on not having to answer that question--because I will greet Jesus like Laney and Kylie greet me. That would be wonderful. I pray that I will do that one day very soon. :) I hope you do, too. :)
Happy weekend!
Ash the (loved) Dreamer
:)
So I actually have a story today... well, I'm going to try to form it into a story, anyway. :)
I was at camp meeting today--it's like this huge gathering of the Christians in my denomination for a week and a half, and we camp out, hear great preaching, have picnics, and enjoy the time off from the world to kick back with each other and God.
This year, I wasn't anticipating it as much as other years, because this was the first camp meeting since I'd met Laney and Kylie, and I didn't think they'd be there. Surprise! They were there today. :) Kylie, who's about two and a half, now, I think, surprised me in the bathroom, and I hung out with her while the lady taking care of her went toily--:). We spun around in circles and I threw her in the air, getting that precious smile out of her. :) She had to leave again, though, so I was really looking forward to seeing Laney a little later, after church was over.
I wasn't disappointed. When I went to the back of the gymnasium (it's held on a school campus) to get a bulletin, Laney spotted me, and the pure look of glee on her face overwhelmed me. :) I couldn't help smiling. "Hi, Laney!" I whispered and waved, and kept going. I knew I would talk to her later. :)
After church, I got to take her to her car--which I do a lot. :) When she saw me, she ran to me and I lifted her into my arms--I'm finding that little girls in my arms is one of the most precious cargoes I could carry ever. :) We talked as we jostled through the crowd, and she was holding my umbrella when we got outside... The way she looked at me with such an innocent face, her face all lit up in the joy of the moment, and proclaimed, "It's not rainin'!" :)))) My heart is taken. lol. :)
But I was just thinking... Laney and Kylie love people so easily... so it's easy for them to love my sisters and me. And Jesus loves us all first... and He calls us to come to Him as little children--why aren't we as eager to come to Jesus as Laney and Kylie are eager to come to my sisters Leah, Becca, and me? I don't know the answer to that--we all have our different answers.
But lately I've been working on not having to answer that question--because I will greet Jesus like Laney and Kylie greet me. That would be wonderful. I pray that I will do that one day very soon. :) I hope you do, too. :)
Happy weekend!
Ash the (loved) Dreamer
:)
12 June 2009
The Voyage of Beliefs (FM Static)
I have 2 brothers and a sister, and a mother,
And a father who taught us that we should
All love one another,
We go to church on Sunday,
In a little green hyundai,
Have some grape juice and crackers,
Then we start again on Monday
And it's all fine, and it's all well,
I really want to find what I believe for myself,
'Cause when you're gone,
And I'm still here,
I won't have you to tell me that I should be there
I'm tired of making excuses(oh oh oh),
Need to decide for myself...
What if I stumble? What if I fall?
When I'm on my way to You,
What if I need You? Who do I call?
How do I know I'll get through?
Because I don't wanna ride the fence anymore.
I wanna stand up, and shout it,
And let it be known
I have 2 fathers, and a sister and a brother,
And a mother who taught us that we should
All do unto others,
My homeroom teacher, always talks about her preacher
And she says she talks to God,
But I don't know if I believe her
And it's all fine, and it's all well,
I really want to find what I believe for myself,
'Cause when you're gone,
And I'm still here,
I won't have you to tell me that I should be there
I'm tired of making excuses(oh oh oh),
Need to decide for myself...
What if I stumble? What if I fall?
When I'm on my way to You,
What if I need You? Who do I call?
How do I know I'll get through?
Because I don't wanna ride the fence anymore.
I wanna stand up, and shout it,
And let it be known
And you can tell me,
That I can't make a difference 'cause I'm just one,
But one is all it takes to start it
And you can tell me,
That I can't change the world,
Because I'm too young,
But I won't stand here and be your target
And you can push me,
And try to knock me down, but I won't listen,
'Cause I've got nothing left to lose and,
You can hate me, for everything I'm not,
But it won't change this,
'Cause now that I'm here, I'm not moving
I'm tired of making excuses(oh oh oh),
Need to decide for myself...
What if I stumble? What if I fall?
When I'm on my way to You,
What if I need You? Who do I call?
How do I know I'll get through?
Because I don't wanna ride the fence anymore.
I wanna stand up, and shout it,
And let it be known
These are just the lyrics for a song that's really been makin' me think tonight. Thought I'd share. :) You can hear the song on myspace.com/fmstatic
ash the (musical) dreamer
And a father who taught us that we should
All love one another,
We go to church on Sunday,
In a little green hyundai,
Have some grape juice and crackers,
Then we start again on Monday
And it's all fine, and it's all well,
I really want to find what I believe for myself,
'Cause when you're gone,
And I'm still here,
I won't have you to tell me that I should be there
I'm tired of making excuses(oh oh oh),
Need to decide for myself...
What if I stumble? What if I fall?
When I'm on my way to You,
What if I need You? Who do I call?
How do I know I'll get through?
Because I don't wanna ride the fence anymore.
I wanna stand up, and shout it,
And let it be known
I have 2 fathers, and a sister and a brother,
And a mother who taught us that we should
All do unto others,
My homeroom teacher, always talks about her preacher
And she says she talks to God,
But I don't know if I believe her
And it's all fine, and it's all well,
I really want to find what I believe for myself,
'Cause when you're gone,
And I'm still here,
I won't have you to tell me that I should be there
I'm tired of making excuses(oh oh oh),
Need to decide for myself...
What if I stumble? What if I fall?
When I'm on my way to You,
What if I need You? Who do I call?
How do I know I'll get through?
Because I don't wanna ride the fence anymore.
I wanna stand up, and shout it,
And let it be known
And you can tell me,
That I can't make a difference 'cause I'm just one,
But one is all it takes to start it
And you can tell me,
That I can't change the world,
Because I'm too young,
But I won't stand here and be your target
And you can push me,
And try to knock me down, but I won't listen,
'Cause I've got nothing left to lose and,
You can hate me, for everything I'm not,
But it won't change this,
'Cause now that I'm here, I'm not moving
I'm tired of making excuses(oh oh oh),
Need to decide for myself...
What if I stumble? What if I fall?
When I'm on my way to You,
What if I need You? Who do I call?
How do I know I'll get through?
Because I don't wanna ride the fence anymore.
I wanna stand up, and shout it,
And let it be known
These are just the lyrics for a song that's really been makin' me think tonight. Thought I'd share. :) You can hear the song on myspace.com/fmstatic
ash the (musical) dreamer
on this day...
today is my little sister's birthday. it seems so strange not to celebrate it. :*( every year, we bring out the watermelon and the ice cream cake and her favorite meals and we go shopping for her favorite things, and my mom worries if the clothes she bought won't be fashionable enough... and i just laugh at it all.
but this year, spunky, lively, happy, thoughtful, smart, beautiful, lovely rebecca eileen richards is not with me. :*( everyone says we all have to grow up at one point, and i know it's true. but in many ways, becca has been my best friend and my greatest ally throughout my whole life. and on this day that i most want to be with her... we are miles away, and she's lonely. :*( it's enough to make me cry.
true, the house is quieter this summer (she's working at a summer camp halfway across the state, being a lifeguard, helping in the kitchen, and teaching gymnastics), but i ache for her spunky livelihood. :*( she's my sister, but she's so much more than that.
so today, don't take advantage of those relationships you have. i never imagined that i would have to worry about losing becca. i figured we would always be with each other and have each other. i knew we had rough patches sometimes, but we always worked through them. i took advantage of becca. :*( i never stopped to think that there would be a day that she wouldn't be with me. and now i don't know how to adjust for the rest of my life, the rest of my life, where becca and i will hardly live under the same roof ever again. :*( don't underappreciate the relationships you have. they are precious. don't forget to hug your mom even when you think you hate her, or to listen to your dad, even when his advice makes you want to scream. indulge your grandmother. appreciate your friends. you never know if they'll be gone.
becca's not really gone... i mean, i was texting her all night, and she'll be back in a month or two... but any one of our loved ones could be gone forever, in an instant. so don't take them for granted. appreciate them. love them. please.
so you don't end up crying while you're blogging in the dark on a friday evening.
:)
So here's to you, becca. may we never forget. if you ever read this, just know that as your big sister, i am CRAZY about you, and if you ever drop off the face of this earth, i will hunt you down until i see your face again. cuz i love you. like crazy. :)
that's all i have to say tonight.
Happy Sabbath!!!!
till the next time,
ash the (nostalgic) dreamer
the words we choose...
Today, I got into what felt like a pretty ugly fight. :*( I am a member of this baby name site... I use it to help name some of the characters in my stories, and to think of my favorite names that I would love to name my children someday, but, mostly, it's to appease my RIDICULOUS and sometimes unhealthy obsession with names. lol. :)
Anyway, it's called parentsconnect.com. They have all these different forums that people ask for advice and thoughts on names and such... And I just love that place. I think I spend more time on PC than I spend anywhere else. Which is kind of unhealthy, I think. :*(
Anyway... so I was on there today, and one of the other members mentioned that her cousin was going to name her daughter Jezebel. It pretty much appalled me, but I wasn't trying to castrate anybody or anything! But it turned into this cyber smashdown (is that the right word?) between atheists and Christians. Some other Christians were posting, but the majority of them didn't even know the story of Elijah and Jezebel... and I felt like I was battling the world, and I felt the harshness of the world very acutely. :*(
And I guess I said some things that really hurt some people, and I didn't want to. :*( And now, I just feel at a loss of how to reach people with Jesus. I feel called to take the news of Jesus to the world, but how do you even speak to people who are so hostile, so hostile against Jesus? I apologized profusely, but I wish I could have done it differently. I just don't know what I would have done instead. :*(
I remember Matthew West (a REALLY cool Christian singer dude!) blogging about how we choose our words, so that we don't go through the motions with what we say, and I remember it kind of hit me then, but it hits me even more now. I don't want to hurt people. I love people.
But how do you talk to people, witness like I feel Jesus wants me to, be kind as doves, and show them the tenderhearted Jesus and the truth that they are missing by a mile? How do you choose THOSE words? I just don't know. I mean, friendship seems to work in certain situations. And so do evangelistic series, but what else? It just seems like I can't get it right... :*(
Just something I've been thinking about a LOT today... :*(
Ash the (heartbroken) Dreamer
Anyway, it's called parentsconnect.com. They have all these different forums that people ask for advice and thoughts on names and such... And I just love that place. I think I spend more time on PC than I spend anywhere else. Which is kind of unhealthy, I think. :*(
Anyway... so I was on there today, and one of the other members mentioned that her cousin was going to name her daughter Jezebel. It pretty much appalled me, but I wasn't trying to castrate anybody or anything! But it turned into this cyber smashdown (is that the right word?) between atheists and Christians. Some other Christians were posting, but the majority of them didn't even know the story of Elijah and Jezebel... and I felt like I was battling the world, and I felt the harshness of the world very acutely. :*(
And I guess I said some things that really hurt some people, and I didn't want to. :*( And now, I just feel at a loss of how to reach people with Jesus. I feel called to take the news of Jesus to the world, but how do you even speak to people who are so hostile, so hostile against Jesus? I apologized profusely, but I wish I could have done it differently. I just don't know what I would have done instead. :*(
I remember Matthew West (a REALLY cool Christian singer dude!) blogging about how we choose our words, so that we don't go through the motions with what we say, and I remember it kind of hit me then, but it hits me even more now. I don't want to hurt people. I love people.
But how do you talk to people, witness like I feel Jesus wants me to, be kind as doves, and show them the tenderhearted Jesus and the truth that they are missing by a mile? How do you choose THOSE words? I just don't know. I mean, friendship seems to work in certain situations. And so do evangelistic series, but what else? It just seems like I can't get it right... :*(
Just something I've been thinking about a LOT today... :*(
Ash the (heartbroken) Dreamer
06 June 2009
coolest quote ever!!!!!
I was just listening to some old Matthew West songs (he's a Christian singer), and I just love this one line from this song called "Curtain". I don't really like the rest of the song--it's got this weird vibe that I'm not feelin' too much today (you can check it out on his myspace, though--www.myspace.com/matthewwest), but I love the first line!!!! :)
Anyway, here it is:
"Well I've been catching up on daydreams
I've been lost all afternoon...
Cuz I've been imaginin' the future
in a world of only You..."
The first line was what got me, but I think I love the first four lines now!!!!
Man, I think I wanna go daydream nowwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Just figured I would share that with you. :)
Ash the (totally) Dreamer
:)
Anyway, here it is:
"Well I've been catching up on daydreams
I've been lost all afternoon...
Cuz I've been imaginin' the future
in a world of only You..."
The first line was what got me, but I think I love the first four lines now!!!!
Man, I think I wanna go daydream nowwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Just figured I would share that with you. :)
Ash the (totally) Dreamer
:)
Holy Moments...
This is going to be a short one, since my dad will get out of the shower any minute, and then we'll be off to church. :)
I've just been thinking, over the past 24 hours or less, about holy moments that I share with God. I don't know why, but in the middle of the night, when it's all dark, with no lights, as I listen to my favorite Christian music, as it seems like my story joins the music and we all go dancing through life... those are the holiest glimpses for me... I want to have them more often.
I've been missing God lately. Not that He's never around--He always is. :))))))) But I've been making my time with Him sparse, and I'm getting really ticked off at myself, that I do this to Him. He is worth so much more, and I really wish I wouldn't get caught up in the things that don't matter--catching up on TV shows, mainly, but just wasting time in general, wasting moments on things that don't matter. For a girl who feels called to revolutionize the world, I feel like I'm backing away from my purpose. :*(
God is merciful, and I'm learning. Sometimes I feel like this perfectly purposeful life is not even for me to grasp anymore, that I've messed up too much to live so perfectly in an instant, but I'm learning that grace doesn't listen to what Jesus' foe tries to tell me. I'm so grateful for that. And you don't have to wait for things to align perfectly, either. Grace is for the taking, and GRACE is for today. Take it. Grasp it. Believe it.
I wish I had a beautiful story to go along with this, a touching story to tell that will rapture your heart and make you believe... because stories have that tendency... but all I have is last night. :) It was a beautiful night. My family had all gone to bed; I was sitting in my father's recliner, and I had just read two Psalms for my Bible study... I was thinking about how sometimes, even after I'm past depression, it still doesn't make since and I don't know why God let it happen to me.
And then I turned on JCTV (this teenager Christian TV station), and it was a bunch of music videos, and I just watched... and all of a sudden, I was there. With Jesus in the room. And Matt Hammitt singing his song, and the lights flashing, and somehow was just dancing through it all, as Jesus led. Worship. That's what life's about.
And I want to experience it more.
Till the next time (hope it's not so long!!!),
Ash the (Worshipful) Dreamer
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