Sick

I don't want to talk long. Seeing that I have to be up in Hamburg (which is like, 30 minutes away from my house) at 9 o'clock in the morning tomorrow, and well, I've been REALLY low on sleep all week...

But it just hit me, a few moments ago, how much I hate this world.

Please go read this.

Sometimes I forget people still grieve long after their grief has been seen by the public's eye. Sometimes I forget how hard it is to lose someone you love. And that sickens me, that I can even forget.

And I heard about a natural disaster happening near Nashville today. I don't even know what it was, but that it happened, and that it threatens lives infuriates me.

I wonder how much righteous anger Jesus goes through each day, thinking about all the injustices faced by the children He loves. He considers every person here on this earth someone He loves. How much pain could that be? How hasn't God died of a broken heart all over again?

Just thinking about one baby boy, not even born yet, who might not live... thinking about Bowen Matthew Hammitt, even though I don't know him, or his family even, makes me want to cry. If Jesus loves one person infinitely more than I ever could, how in the world hasn't He died of a broken heart again?

And why in the world do we have so little compassion?

Till next time,
Ash the (Heartbroken) Dreamer

the words we choose...

Today, I got into what felt like a pretty ugly fight. :*( I am a member of this baby name site... I use it to help name some of the characters in my stories, and to think of my favorite names that I would love to name my children someday, but, mostly, it's to appease my RIDICULOUS and sometimes unhealthy obsession with names. lol. :)

Anyway, it's called parentsconnect.com. They have all these different forums that people ask for advice and thoughts on names and such... And I just love that place. I think I spend more time on PC than I spend anywhere else. Which is kind of unhealthy, I think. :*(

Anyway... so I was on there today, and one of the other members mentioned that her cousin was going to name her daughter Jezebel. It pretty much appalled me, but I wasn't trying to castrate anybody or anything! But it turned into this cyber smashdown (is that the right word?) between atheists and Christians. Some other Christians were posting, but the majority of them didn't even know the story of Elijah and Jezebel... and I felt like I was battling the world, and I felt the harshness of the world very acutely. :*(

And I guess I said some things that really hurt some people, and I didn't want to. :*( And now, I just feel at a loss of how to reach people with Jesus. I feel called to take the news of Jesus to the world, but how do you even speak to people who are so hostile, so hostile against Jesus? I apologized profusely, but I wish I could have done it differently. I just don't know what I would have done instead. :*(

I remember Matthew West (a REALLY cool Christian singer dude!) blogging about how we choose our words, so that we don't go through the motions with what we say, and I remember it kind of hit me then, but it hits me even more now. I don't want to hurt people. I love people.

But how do you talk to people, witness like I feel Jesus wants me to, be kind as doves, and show them the tenderhearted Jesus and the truth that they are missing by a mile? How do you choose THOSE words? I just don't know. I mean, friendship seems to work in certain situations. And so do evangelistic series, but what else? It just seems like I can't get it right... :*(

Just something I've been thinking about a LOT today... :*(

Ash the (heartbroken) Dreamer