Ashley the Magnificent's Misadventure

Usually, my self-imposed alter-ego is utterly cool. :) Okay, not always, but I like to think so, hehe. But today... today, Ashley the Magnificent had an utter misadventure. :/

I had to work today, at my semi-nice, but usually-annoying job at Taco Bell. When I got my lunch break at about 2:00, I decided to walk up the hill (only a couple hundred yards) to a nearby Subway restaurant. I made it there with flair--I was oh-so-cool (haha, not really... but it makes my downfall even more the climactic, haha). And I ordered my sandwich and was on my way back to work, to eat there before I had to clock back in. :) The route was part grass, part rocks, but mostly just black pavement. Anyway, so I was all happy (I really don't know why I was this happy--usually I'm not that happy during work, haha) and not paying attention to where I was going. And I stepped into this pothole, and I IMMEDIATELY knew something awful was going to happen, haha.

My ankle twisted in a not-so-great (but not destructively at all--it just felt really weird, haha) manner, and I could feel myself falling--and falling FAST. I don't know what happened, but my fingers were trying to keep my face from getting all scratched up, but somehow they were all mangled and twisted in all the wrong ways underneath my hips (what in the world were they doing all the way down there?!), my rear end was flying high in the air, and my shoulders were somehow very securely fastened to the ground. It's a position I remember LOVING sleeping in when I was a toddler, haha (who knows why, it's one of the most uncomfortable positions I know now, lol!).

The first thing I thought to do was to straighten out my fingers, so I didn't break them, and then I just lay there on the ground, breathing in the grass, trying to get my heart to beat again. I'm such a klutz. haha.

Then I finally turned over, and.... and, oooh, did I mention that this Subway is seated in this gas station?! It totally is, and there were about four or five people filling up their gas tanks, just staring at me, not including passengers in the cars. Oooh, it was SOOO utterly embarrassing, lol.

I sat there for a few moments, then got up and walked back to Taco Bell, and I ate my sandwich. And I was limping around the whole day. When I took a shower earlier, I thought I was going to pass out when I had to wash my left knee, which has a LOVELY rug-burn. :/ It had bled a bit earlier, and I'm all good, but I figured you all would love the little embarrassing moment in my life. haha.

And you want to know the BEST part? After I finished my sandwich, I called my mom, for two reasons. One, because I'm a wussy and I needed to hear my mommy's voice after such an ordeal (hehe). Two, because lunch breaks are UTTERLY boring if you don't have something to do or someone to talk to. :/

So I told her the whole story, about nobody coming to help me up or see if I was okay, and all, and then I went back to work, and while I was sweeping the dining room or something, this family that was sitting at the table next to where I had been eating called my name (we are required to wear name tags, but it's still really shocking when total strangers just call out "Ashley" or say "Thanks, Ashley!" to me. haha) out across the dining room, and they were like, "Oh, we're so sorry we didn't help you up! We thought you were just sitting down to eat your lunch..." (And I still question: What person in their right mind would think that ANYBODY doing a face-plant was just sitting down to have a dandy little lunch?!)

Hahahahahaha.

Usually, my life isn't this entertaining, but I thought it was pretty funny. At least I didn't break my ankle or pass out or worse. Thank God. :)

Till next time,
Ash the (Royally Embarrassed) Dreamer

Weddings, Birthdays, and Valleys

Today is my friend's wedding day! Since it's about 2:30 am on tomorrow in Paris (where she lives), I'm sure the wedding is already over (hehe), but I just wanted to say happy wedding day, Amelie! I hope you and Jacob are VERY happy together, and that your honeymoon in Turkey is amazing! :)

Also, if you get a chance, my lovely friends, please remember me in your prayers. School, work, staying up entirely too late, my sudden lack of independence (due to the sudden and tragic death of my lovely, reliable car, Lucie), and just about a million other things have me going utterly CRAZY... and I'm really in need of some extra strength to get me through these next few days until Spring Break starts in just a few days!

Oooh, and there are exact-ically 17 days until my birthday!!!!! Woohoo! I'm excited. :) My birthday is always entirely spectacular. :) The countdown has officially begun. :)

Haha.

I love you all... talk to you soon! :)

Till next time,
Ash the (Struggling) Dreamer

sweet irene and other stuff...

hello, friend (or friends, perhaps?)! :) here we are again, and it's another lovely friday night!!!! :) gah, i LOVE friday nights!!!! :)

anyway, new week, new song, so since i can't live without Christian music, and i can't imagine anyone who could live without it, i will post the lovely song for you! :) (btw, that last sentence was DRIPPING with sarcasm... hope you picked up on that... *grin*)



this is casting crowns, with their new single, until the whole world hears. :)

but i digress. :)

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm soooooooooo excited!!!!!! for the past couple weeks now, i've REALLY wanted to sponsor a child through compassion international (currently my favorite ministry in the whole world). if you don't know what compassion does, go to www.compassion.com and check it out. if you can walk away from those HUNDREDS of innocent, loveable faces, unscathed, then... well, i don't know what i would do, because i don't know if my sarcastic side would congratulate you for being so callous, or if i would ignore you and go and cry that such innocent, lovely children don't even have a chance at true life anymore. :/

anyway, so i've been planning, and PLANNING to sponsor a little girl from the hundreds of children that need sponsoring (i think there's almost 900 girls alone, from age 3 to 18, that need to be sponsored... that doesn't even include the boys!). the first night i checked it out, it was this precious little girl from honduras whose name is carolina. she was so perfect. and adorable. and my heart was perfectly attached to hers. but alas, i had about $25 to my name. gah. i hate college right now. so i had to transfer my money from my paychecks to my checking account, but i kept pushing it off because i'm so busy. well, somebody adopted that adorable little girl and left my heart crushed. :/ and then i found a three-year-old little girl named yestin who was so incredibly sweet. i was sure she was the one. the same night i found her, someone else adopted her, too! :/ and then, i found irene. she was a little four-year-old from el salvador, and she'd remained unsponsored for over half a year, and i grew to love her SO much, and i just knew she was to be mine! well, this week somebody up and sponsored her, too. i was crushed. i already felt like irene was my little girl, almost like a daughter to me, and now she's someone else's. :*( and i was so sure she would be mine, because there were several times when she was sponsored, and then, there she was, back again, and i was just so sure. :/ but now, every time i look at all those faces, my heart breaks, but now i can't find one i KNOW i'm supposed to sponsor, because irene's not there. :*( maybe by monday (when my money should be in my account) i'll find the perfect girl. who knows. pray that i know which precious gem to sponsor!

other than that, i've just been stepping back from my life and making some changes. it feels good. i think Jesus wanted this for me for a while, and now i'm finally listening. stupid, stupid me! :)

anyway, that's me. :)

maybe when i find the perfect little girl, i'll post a picture for you all to see! :)

anyway, happy weekend, everybody! :)

until next time,
ash the (crushed and ecstatic at the same time!!!!) dreamer

worst week ever...

I know I said I would be back tomorrow, but I only have one class today, and I'm kinda hiding from the real world right now.

Probably just my overdramatic self taking things way out of proportion, but I just have to step back and be able to see how overdramatic I'm really being, and I'm pretty sure nothing major is happening in my lit class today. Besides, it started 45 minutes ago, and I'm a mess.

Yesterday one of my bosses talked to me about not doing my job right, and I guess I just wasn't seeing things that needed to be done, and she was thinking that I was all lazy and it was just a mess. Have you ever cried in front of your boss? Yeah.

EMBARRASSING!!!!

Anyway, she's going to try and get the managers to help me so I can be a better worker, but there was just stuff at that time that I really didn't know how to say, so I feel like I got a bunch of heat that really didn't need to be put under my rear, but whatever.

My mom's been so sweet about everything, and when I told her, she told me about how once one of her bosses told her that she was basically the weakest link in the whole production, and she bawled like a baby, so I don't feel TERRIBLE. I just cried all the way home, and I can't stop crying now! Gah, it's so annoying.

But then last night I had a dream that after helping the people in the show Numb3rs (aka, my new favorite TV show!) solve this crazy case on a beach somewhere (it was really weird, like a mix between Lost and Numb3rs, and I didn't know what was going on, lol!), I came home, and for some reason, my name was Arianne. Not sure why, but it was. I'm cool with that, though, because Arianne's probably my second favorite name right now, just after Eliza. :) Anyway, my parents didn't even TALK to me about this, but they said, "Oh, you have a letter waiting for you in our room." So I read the letter, and it basically said that my parents were tired of me not taking responsibility for myself and they were so tired of all my emotional problems (aka my depression and OCD) that they weren't going to put up with it much longer, and they were going to kick me out of the house just before the next school year started. Gah, what kind of dream is THAT?! I think I was crying in my dream, too, and so now I'm freaking out and reevaluating my life and such, and it doesn't help that my dad actually said that in real life... that if I didn't get my act together I could just leave.

Gah.

Anyway, so if I missed my lit powerpoint presentation, you know why. I feel like I'm a ROYAL MESS. :/

But out of all of this, I am learning that I've been taking the easy road, and even though I keep saying all these things about following Jesus, I've been going my own way, and I'm trying to come back to Him and make Him proud.

Pray for me, if you read this.

Because, well, GAH, I need it SOOOO much right now! :/

Until next time,
Ash the (Tearful) Dreamer

free

i am free. i always used to try and imagine what it meant to someone who hadn't always been free to be able to say that they were free.

but tonight i know the feeling.

this is probably the most petty thing in the world, but this has been a truly long week for me. :*( since i have returned from going to school in the midwest, i have been used to basically working about 25 hours a week (at the most), and only about 4 days a week. a pretty relaxed lifestyle. :) this week, however, they scheduled me for SIX DAYS, but not only that... i think i almost worked FORTY-FIVE HOURS this week. almost DOUBLE what i'm used to. so that, alone, set me on edge. working six days in a row. long hours. crazy lines of people at taco bell (why doesn't anybody take the driveway just before ours, and go to wendys?). so that was pretty bad. but not only that... i've been stressing about school a little bit, and i've really been missing my little sister who's away for the summer, working at a Christian camp. that's all cool and everything, but i've really missed her. :*( so lots has been going on, and i just felt imprisoned by my schedule. :*(

but now... now i feel free. granted, i probably don't feel like a slave felt after they were freed, but i still feel pretty stinkin' good!

i usually try and blog about what i want to reflect on during a holiday weekend, or in the case of Christmas, a whole month, but only one freeing Revolutionary matters to me tonight--not Ben Franklin, John Hancock, George Washington, or Samuel Adams. None of them changed my life personally. But Jesus did when He died.

So Jesus is the Revolutionary I celebrate tonight, as I worship on this Sabbath day. I celebrate Jesus, because He is the One who died for me. He is the One that let go of Himself, so I could reach my full potential. He is the One that rescued me and set my heart on fire. Even as I say all these things, the words seem void of meaning, because Jesus cannot be limited to words.

So today, I celebrate Jesus, for ALL He does. :)

On my way home from work today, I saw a humongous bird (not sure what it was; my brother says it could've been a golden eagle) take flight from the side of the road, and it narrowly missed my windshield before soaring above the towering trees. It was a majestic thing. I remember being in awe, just watching it, but being also so glad that I didn't collide with it...

And I, like that bird, am about to take flight to be free, narrowly missing all the dangers I have faced, but ready, oh so ready, to soar. :)

Ash the (Freed) Dreamer

i got "clocked"...

okay, so i finally have a blog-worthy story to tell, so i figured i should tell it before i forget all the crazy details... :)

anyways, so yesterday, i was at work, slaving away so i can go back to my dream college next semester, and it was about 2:15 in the afternoon or so, and i was looking for something to do (cuz it's usually DEAD in taco bell at 2:15 in the afternoon). so my boss calls out to me (you have to understand, this in itself is pretty hilarious. she's this Filipino pip-squeak who bosses everybody around and threatens to "karate-chop" you up in pieces if you do something too wrong. she's pretty hilarious), and she wants me to turn this timer that hangs from the ceiling so she can see it in the camera, so i try, but i'm, like, three feet below it, and i can barely touch it with the tips of my fingers... horrible. anyway, so i'm swatting at it, and its spinning around in circles (any person in their right mind would have noticed something was wrong here), and i kept spinning it the wrong way, apparently. and my boss keeps saying "no-no... other way. other way. i'm gonna karate-chop you..." and i've been swatting it both directions so, i'm like, "what is she talking about?!?!" and then, it came to a stop, so i was waiting for her to tell me which way to turn it, and my head was kinda down, and then, out of NOWHERE, it was like BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the clock fell! from the ceiling! on top of my head! and then to the ground!

i didn't even know what had happened... it felt like an eternity after it happened that it dawned on me that the clock had hit me on the head, and all i could do was hold my throbbing head and will myself to breathe so i didn't pass out in front of all my coworkers and all the taco bell customers (cuz i have a REALLY low tolerance for pain...). after that... well, after that, it was a blur. i sat down in the dining room for a little bit, and then i took of my hat, and found blood soaking into my hat, and i was like, "ho, boy..." after that.... well, i just sat a lot and put ice on it, and my boss cleaned it up, and ho, boy, did it hurt! it still hurts so bad. yesterday, my dad made some joke about how i literally got "clocked", and they haven't stopped yet... at least i got out of work early. :)

i just praise Jesus that i didn't get hurt worse than i did, and that i didn't get any serious brain injuries. Jesus is so good. :)

pray for us...

This is my momma. She's the coolest momma ever... I promise. :)

I guess this isn't the coolest blog story ever, but today we received the news that my mom has been fired/laid off today, and this is really hard on our family.

Receiving news like that is like realizing you are clinically depressed--it's like you've been sucker-punched; all the air goes out of you and you double over. We're all just really worried about the future, and what's going to happen.

I believe in prayer and that God makes no mistakes, but that doesn't mean life is easy. Please pray for my family and my momma.

Talk to you guys soon,
Ash

disgruntled customer

i work at taco bell, this summer. it's not my dream job, but i have friends there, and it's kinda fun, and, well, let's face it. it gets me money to go back to college. :)

anyway, today, i was working, and it wasn't my best day... probably because two of my closest friends at work left for vacation for a week or two, and i'm really bummed that i won't see them for a while. anyways... this lady came into taco bell... well, it's a taco bell/long john silver's. anyway, so she was waiting for her order, and it was a take-out order, which takes longer to make, cuz you gotta be more careful. anyway, she wanted a quesadilla, which takes longer to make, and there were like, a bazillion customers. like, those little screens in the back that tell you which orders to make... there were like, three pages of orders... just for people who were dining in. excluding the drivethrough. ha. so, this lady was somewhere in the middle, and, psht, it was just a regular order i guess. i don't remember much about the order itself. and we were understaffed, so it was just me and one of my bosses. so she's waiting with her arms crossed, and i finally have her order in the take-out bag, and i call out her number, and she takes the bag from me. i'm about to ask her if she wants any sauces, but then, before i can say anything, she starts... well, it's not really screaming, but i call it screaming, because her heart's screaming, even if her mouth isn't. and she is like, "Hhhhh!!!! I knew I should have gone through drive-through! Eleven people..." Side note, it might have been THREE people... "have gone through drive through by the time I got my order, and all these other people got their orders before me, and they ordered AFTER me..." and she kept going on and on and on and on, and i was like, "i'm sorry... what else can i say to you? how can i make it up? i wish i could. you may not think so, but for some reason, i want to bless your heart, lady, but i don't even know your name or why you're yelling at me." so we just kept apologizing, and she just kept yelling. anyway. that's my exciting story so far.

then tonight, i was playing some stupid game on my family's computer, and listening to switchfoot and sanctus real, with the lights turned off and wishing i had something to do that i could do to change the world, but i didn't know what. i wanted to write for one of my stories, but i didn't have anywhere quiet to go. so i just sat and listened, and i remembered this lady.

i'm not quite sure why, but every time i go to a store, i want to be the pleasant, cheerful sunshine in that person's day at that store, or restaurant, or wherever. i guess i don't want to be like that lady--i want to be a shining light. like Jesus. i can't help but wonder, tonight, if that lady has Jesus, just like i wonder if 99% of my coworkers have Jesus, just like i wonder why so much of the world doesn't have Jesus.

i wish i could show them what they're missing. i've been thinking, lately, that a revolution begins with love--either love, or something fake that looks a lot like love would look. and i want to start a revolution with Jesus' love, but how do you make love shout? sometimes i feel like my love doesn't even whisper--it just meekly fingerspells my heart, hoping the world will see. does love shout more? or is it just me?